Feminism and Motherhood

Me and my two adorable children!

Earlier in the week I ran into a very sad and interesting article written by Rebecca Walker, daughter of Alice Walker, famed author and feminist, that discussed Rebecca's decision to mother and the affect it had on her relationship with her own mother. According to the article Alice felt that motherhood was a "calamity" that held her back. She left her daughter in the care of others or alone for long periods of time, approved of her being sexually active at 13, and disowned Rebecca by taking her out of her will when she made the decision to become a mother herself.

This got me thinking.

Lately I have come across a few different situations that have made me wonder when the feminist movement became as oppressive as the 1950's culture that said women belonged at home. Being a feminist should not be about rejecting all things feminine, family oriented or relationships.  Isn't the point of feminism choice?  Personally I would consider myself a feminist, not a radical one, but a feminist none the less; I believe that all people should be able to choose their path in life without judgement and with accurate information.  I do not believe that men and women are equally built for the same purpose in life but do believe that they should be given equal opportunity to pursue whatever life they choose. Feminism is not about being stress free or burden free.  Every life has burdens.  What it is about is the ability to choose them.

In our culture the word burden has earned a bad reputation (as well as the word feminist!), but by definition a burden is something that carries a heavy weight, or by my account, responsibility.  This would include a demanding job, relationships and children.  Yes children. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my children and spouse and find more joy in them then in anything else life has to offer, but they are a heavy weight and require daily upkeep and therefore responsibility. I pride myself, as a woman, on my ability to work with my husband, raise our children and, in due time, pursue my calling as a midwife.  I believe that the work of feminists before us gave us a great gift: the gift of choice. Weather or not they intended for us to get married or have families is irrelevant. The gift is still the same.  Their struggle enables all of us modern day women to *choose* our path, and that is a great gift.